Issue Date: June 1-15, 2008, Posted On: 6/9/2008
Muslims discuss views on homosexuality
By KARA BECKER
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Imtiyaz Hussein says that coming out as a gay man who is also a Muslim was never a problem. But for Mohammed El-Khatib, whose parents hoped he would pass on the family name, it was. Saadia Toor, on the other hand, said she feels that gay Muslims face challenges similar to all religious followers — stereotypes, misunderstandings and resistance.
The three spoke on May 18 about what it means to be "Queer and Muslim" during a panel discussion at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston that was hosted by the Massachusetts Area South Asian Lambda Association. The talk followed a screening of the documentary "A Jihad for Love," a film about the hidden life of being Muslim and gay.
Hussein, who is the founder of the Massachusetts Area South Asian Lambda Association, said that he reconciled his faith and his sexual preference early on.
"I was always as certain of my faith as my sexuality," said Hussein, a native of Tanzania who is of Indian descent.
"There were never really any negative messages growing up, I was kind of left alone to see if I could personally reconcile with having the two things as part of my identity simultaneously."
After he came to terms with his identity, he said, being gay and Muslim was never a problem for him.
Toor, however, said that homosexual Muslims often deal with stereotypes and misunderstanding from others.
"Being a Muslim queer is always scary because you carry this burden of representation; you're always in this position of worrying that whatever you say is being represented correctly — you always have to contextualize and qualify everything," said Toor, who was Muslim but left the faith to become a communist. A native of Lahore, Toor is a member of the Pakistani political-action group Women's Action Forum and teaches sociology and women's studies at The College of Staten Island, City University of New York. She said that panel discussions, such as "Queer and Muslim" can overlook the fact that homosexual followers of Judeo-Christian religions can face challenges just like gay Muslims do.
El-Khatib suggested that the Muslim faith has provided him both problems and solutions. The son of a Lebanese mother and a Palestinian father, he said that he grew up in a homophobic household, even though his parents are secular.
"I actually turned to Islam and the Muslim religion for answers, and they were more open to the idea than I had originally thought," said El-Khatib, who was born in Lebanon and moved to the United States in 1999. His father, however, opposed homosexuality and viewed it as a "disease" and felt that that gays "should be burned."
When he first came out to his mother, he said, the first thing she said was that he had to get married. Procreation and the passing on of the family name were important to his parents, he said. Because he was family-oriented, he said, their reaction was a difficult one.
The other panelists also said coming out was a challenge. "I always wondered, why do people care so much about who I choose to sleep with?" said Toor. "At the heart of it is concern about existing kinship structures and where they fit in. It has to do with the perpetuation of structures of power, which are usually patriarchal. It's all about who has the power to say things and who gets circulated and heard."
Hussein agreed that coming out can be difficult and noted nuances of doing so among his Muslim peers. The Muslims he knows, he said, accept that he is gay, until his lifestyle violates the family norms of the faith.
But why? asked El-Khatib. "Our sexuality is but one frame of the entire picture. Why does it matter if I'm gay? I eat with you, I pray with you, I go to mosque. Instead of turning away, we should do the opposite; we will fight and stand by our faith, regardless of what people think."
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