Interview: On Being Gay in Iran

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Newsweek.com

Interview: On Being Gay in Iran

A gay Iranian discusses Ahmadinejad’s ‘no gays’ comment and what it’s like to live in a country that refuses to accept homosexuality.

WEB EXCLUSIVE
By Patrick Falby
Newsweek

Sept 28, 2007

Sept. 28, 2007 - To be gay in Iran means a life of fear. Shortly before Mahmoud Ahmadinejad won his country’s presidential election in 2005, Iranian authorities hanged two teenagers officially charged with raping a 13-year-old boy—but whom gay activists say were executed for their sexual orientation. Life for Iranian gays has not improved since then. Even though Iran’s senior religious figures have made statements calling for the whipping or killing of homosexuals, the country’s authorities continue to deny that they prosecute gays. Against this backdrop it’s hardly surprising that the community is outraged over Ahmadinejad’s glib comment to his Columbia audience this week that “in Iran we don’t have homosexuals like in your country.”

Indeed, so great is the insecurity of Iranian gays that even the few who have found a safe haven in the United States are still afraid of speaking out about their old lives. NEWSWEEK’s Patrick Falby spoke with Reza, a gay Iranian man who would identify himself only by his nickname. Reza, who received asylum four years ago, talked about his life in his home country in the pre-Ahmadinejad era—and what it’s like for those still living there. Excerpts:

NEWSWEEK: What was your reaction when you heard Ahmadinejad’s statement?
Reza: It was embarrassing, the ignorance that he had. He could have said it a different way; he could have said we have no concept of being gay in our culture. He could have meant we have no gay phenomenon in our culture. Many Iranians don’t understand homosexuality. If today I went to my mother and told her I’m gay, she wouldn’t understand what I mean, because there’s nothing in the media. They don’t talk about it. It might sound strange, but that’s the way it is over there. There are basically places for gay people to go in Iran; they’re public places, like parks. Places to meet people; you could also call them cruising parks. When I was watching Ahmadinejad’s speech, I wanted to tell him if you don’t think there are gay people in Iran you should go to [one of these parks] and you will see many of them. It’s a matter of the government not wanting to acknowledge that these people exist.

What’s it like being gay in Iran?
You would be the unluckiest person in the world, I guess, to be gay in Iran. No one can relate to you. You always have to hide your beliefs. You have to live a lie. You either have to get married and live a double life or you just have to commit suicide. If you’re single for a long time you can be [asked] why you’re not getting married and get forced to do that.

I chat with people online every now and then, and they say it’s getting harder for them because there’s more control under Ahmadinejad. If you go to Internet chat rooms and chat with them you will see how miserable and disappointed and how sad they feel because of living there. It’s not easy for everybody to get out of that situation. Especially right now, it’s very difficult for Iranians to leave Iran: they cannot get visas to different countries. They just have to deal with the situation, lead a secret life and tell lies all the time to keep themselves away from all the troubles they may get into because they are homosexuals living in that country.

When did you realize you were gay?
I accepted it in my 30s. It took a long time. I started to get open-minded from the Internet. I knew I liked men since I was a kid. You always know, because this is the way you are born. You can’t do anything about it.

Did anyone ever find out?
Not really. The only people who know about me right now are my gay friends. Nobody else knows. I don’t wave a rainbow flag, but if people ask I won’t lie about it.

Nobody in your family knows you’re gay?
They don’t understand. That’s the thing: if you go and tell your mother, “I’m gay,” she’d say, “What’s that? What does that mean?” They’d still expect you to get married if you were attracted to men. They believe if you like to fool around with another man it’s that you’ve got a high sex drive—not because of your sexual orientation.

How were other homosexuals and lesbians treated?
In Iran the punishment for sodomy is death. There are two ways it can be proven: it needs to be witnessed by four people, or if the judge believes that you did it they can execute you.

Why do you think these attitudes exist in Iran?
Over there religion rules the [country]. It’s like one hundred years ago here, when laws were quite different. I guess we’re one hundred years back in Iran right now. If you look at women’s rights in this country, 150 years ago women were part of the property of men. It changed through the years. Iran is still backward because of the religion—that’s what rules the laws and rules the jurisdiction system and rules the whole country.

How did you end up applying for asylum in the U.S.?
I would prefer not to answer specific questions about myself, only general questions. Because of my profession, which I don’t want to disclose, I have advertisements in various gay publications. Every now and then I get hate phone calls and hate e-mails from Middle Eastern Muslims that threaten me and say stupid things. I’m happy to live in a free country. I believe that here I’m safe.

Do you think you’ll ever return to Iran?
I have no plans [to return]. It’s a matter of where you’re safe. I don’t feel safe over there.

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